End your misery
No sooner did last week's TES tell of the nascent escape tunnel's collapse, than details arrived of a revamped weekend course at his Cornish retreat. You may recall the half-term course was cancelled with only one booking.
"Is your future worth Pounds 95?" John asks - wisely, since teachers had obviously decided their future wasn't worth Pounds 325, the cost of a full week. Temptingly offering "a contemplative yet exhilarating weekend workshop", he asks: "Are you overworked? Do you dread Monday mornings?" John's wife Sue is clearly used to helping the emotionally damaged - she used to "teach pottery to the mentally ill", the leaflet says - so you'll be in safe hands. (Ring 01736 797061. Plug over.)