The Scottish Executive's "get fit, not fat" message seems not to have filtered through to at least two Glasgow primary schools, according to local councillors.
At the last meeting of the city's education committee, SNP councillor John Mason reported that the headteacher of a primary in his Garrowhill ward had discouraged cycling to school because of the difficulties in ensuring the security of the velocipedes.
"He's lucky," chipped in the puckish Liberal Democrat Chris Mason. "A head in my ward has banned football at breaks because it makes the boys dirty."
No consolation for Bertie Vogts there then.