13th August 2010 at 01:00
Writhing ssssexuality

Writhing ssssexuality

It is a week for unusual accomplishments by FE college lecturers, some of whom would be able to write particularly striking essays on "What I Did On My Summer Holiday" this year.

Noel Wills, who is 64 and a part-time lecturer at Bromley Adult Education College, managed to get his pair of royal pythons to breed, after 15 years of serpentine celibacy.

The two, dashingly named Boa Diddley and Bill Boa, got it on after Mr Wills popped out to the shops, only to return and discover seven eggs in the tank. Considering Mr Wills says the pythons generally only live until the age of 28, 32-year-old male Diddley must be something of the Hugh Hefner of the ophidian world.

Meanwhile, Steve Thomas, a lecturer in composites engineering at Wiltshire College, broke the landspeed record - for soapbox derby racing.

A far cry from the cobbled-together efforts of FErret's youth, Mr Thomas's sleek machine C12 - nicknamed "The Beast" - reached a frankly terrifying 64 mph down the two-mile mountain road in the Cairngorms in Scotland.

His wife Pam sounds somewhat long-suffering about her husband's obsession. "I heard over the PA system that someone had crashed and of course I automatically thought it was Steve," she told the local paper.

Have more faith, Pam! FErret for one salutes our multi-talented lecturing workforce, weird obsessions and all.

A warm current

Queens Park Rangers manager Neil Warnock wrote his own piece entitled "What I Learnt This Summer" for The Independent, which included the discovery that the facilities at Duchy College, where his team held a pre- season training camp, are "wonderful".

The only surprise is to hear that Mr Warnock used the facilities. In the same piece, he admitted that as a child, he wouldn't stop swimming in order to go to the loo, but would relieve himself then and there. Duchy College, check your pool!

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