Flirty, dirty or really in lurve?

9th February 2007 at 00:00
What are your chances of finding love in the staffroom (or a quick snog at least) this Valentine's Day? Try Susan Young's quiz to find out.

Illustration by Angela Salt

1. You last got a Valentine's card from a mystery admirer

a. Within the past five years

b. Within the past five years... but it came from a Year 3 pupil

c. When dinosaurs prowled the primeval swamps

2. You socialise with colleagues

a. In the pub, after work, usually once a week

b. With cream cakes in the staffroom on birthdays

c. Socialise with them? They are all tucked up in their coffins for the night at 3.30pm

3. In the staffroom, you are

a. One of the crowd of newer teachers - it's a good laugh

b. One of the crowd of more mature teachers - it's a good laugh

c. The youngest by about a decade

4. Did any new teachers join the staff this year?

a. Yes, we've got quite a few

b. The senior management team hired a new suit

c. You've got to be joking. Everyone's going for a gold watch

5. Do you have a life outside teaching?

a. Yes

b. No

c. You mean it's allowed?

6. Is planning

a. Your life

b. A necessary evil but you're getting there

c. You've got it down to a fine art. An hour a week, whether you need to or not

7. Your best chat-up line is

a. So how do you get vegetables the right size for your condom demos?

b. I'm afraid the copier's out of toner again - will you help me change it?

c. Fancy a quick one down the pub after work?

8. How would you describe your dress sense?

a. Practical

b. Trusty

c. Fashionable

9. You are

a. A female primary teacher

b. A male primary teacher

c. A secondary science teacher who wears plastic safety specs

10. Your bedroom contains

a. At least five cuddly toys

b. All your planning files

c. An Ann Summers catalogue

How did you score?

1 a-10, b-5, c-1

2 a-10, b-5, c-1

3 a-10, b-5, c-1

4 a-10, b-5, c-1

5 a-10, b-5, c-1

6 a-1, b-2, c-5

7 a-10, b-1, c-5

8 a-5, b-1, c-10

9 a-MINUS 5!, b-10, c - MINUS 10!

10 a-5, b-1, c-10

WILL YOU SCORE?

Minus 1 to plus 20

Lurve comes lower on your personal agenda than the week's planning and the cat. If you're in a happy partnership, fine - but if not, do you need to think again? Teachers are relationship people. As they say, try to get out more.

20-50

Well, you're interested but sometimes you're just not going to find romance at work, especially if you're in a happy school with low staff turnover.

Take a realistic look round the staffroom and do some planning - for your personal life. Oh, and science teachers, leave those plastic specs in the lab.

50 plus

It could all come together for you this Valentine's Day: you're up for it, flirty, and you've got a social life. So even if you don't get a bunch of red roses or a saucy proposition, you'll have fun anyway. Just don't forget the planning.

Log-in as an existing print or digital subscriber

Forgotten your subscriber ID?

Subscribe

To access this content and the full TES archive, subscribe now.

View subscriber offers

Comments

Get TES online and delivered to your door – for less than the price of a coffee

Save 33% off the cover price with this great subscription offer. Every copy delivered to your door by first-class post, plus full access to TES online and the TES app for just £1.90 per week.
 
Subscribers also enjoy a range of fantastic offers and benefits worth over £270:

  • Discounts off TES Institute courses
  • Access over 200,000 articles in the TES online archive
  • Free Tastecard membership worth £79.99
  • Discounts with Zipcar, Buyagift.com, Virgin Wines and other partners
Order your low-cost subscription today