Give us a little of that ol' headteacher magic
If, however, you have magic powers, you may be just what the pupils ordered.
Children at the successful primary in south-east London have drawn up a list of qualities they expect their new head to possess. They declare they want someone who is kind, playful and respects children. However, the new headteacher must not be posh.
Dumbledore, head of the fictional Hogwarts attended by budding wizard Harry Potter, would fit the bill perfectly, according to the advertisement for the job in last week's TES.
"This school has a very informal style, it's all first names and no school uniform here. We don't go for any of tat stuff," says Neil Brady, chair of governors.
"We don't stand on ceremony but we're very focused on ethos and the values of caring for each other. We want to show how good our school is by what the kids do and are, not what they appear. You can mark Kilmorie children out because of their self-assurance."
The 350-pupil school, rated good by Office for Standards in Education inspectors and "outstanding" when it comes to supporting parents and children, has made a point of consulting the whole community - pupils, parents, teachers - about its future leader.
Applicants be warned. The parents are even more demanding than the children - they want someone "super-human".