I just love your articles: schools with no teachers (TES, December 5); classroom assistants replaced by dogs (TES, November 28). Life would be so much duller if your office calendar was not permanently stuck on April 1!
Just in case inspiration ever runs out, may I suggest the following headlines to provide similar fantasies:
"Schools failing infants who don't learn double bass", lashes watchdog.
"Lobotomies for Year 6 children improves Sats scores", claims Ofsted.
"Government to balance budget by sending children down mines" "Train hamsters to beat Ofsted inspector shortage", urges RSPCA Or - daftest of all - "Ministers to value teachers in dramatic policy switch" Michael Hurdle 7 Farm Lane Send Surrey