Hamsters to fill inspector holes
Just in case inspiration ever runs out, may I suggest the following headlines to provide similar fantasies:
"Schools failing infants who don't learn double bass", lashes watchdog.
"Lobotomies for Year 6 children improves Sats scores", claims Ofsted.
"Government to balance budget by sending children down mines" "Train hamsters to beat Ofsted inspector shortage", urges RSPCA Or - daftest of all - "Ministers to value teachers in dramatic policy switch" Michael Hurdle 7 Farm Lane Send Surrey