Bored with 3C's pathetic attempts to make apple crumble? Tired of parents who first ask what food technology "is supposed to be", then complain that WayneTracey "doesn't like it and they never seem to do any cooking"?
How's your nutloaf? Or your ratatouille? Or your mushroom ragout? Or even your Hummus bi Tahina a la Delia?
The Vegetarian Society is seeking a tutor for its prestigious Cordon Vert Cookery School, which trains both professional and amateur chefs in vegetarian catering.
The ideal candidate should be a committed vegetarian and will have already heard all the jokes about lentils and chickpeas. What kind of experience of vegetarian cooking will be reuired is hard to say. Will regular servings of Linda McCartney's burgers count?
Should candidates turn up at interview with not only the slightly pale complexion of the true veggie, but a couple of onion bhajis and a nice quiche? And will you need to prove that you've really got your finger on the pulse(s)?
The salary is negotiable with a job share available for the right candidate, and further details are available from Lyn Weller on 0161 925 2001.
The ad doesn't actually preclude dedicated carnivores, but any that make it through to the interview stage will be easily spotted. They'll be the ones who are still hungry after the lunch.