Jotter - Squids in for psychic Paul

23rd July 2010 at 01:00
Could Paul the `psychic octopus' find a job as a consultant for Scotland's colleges?

Followers of the World Cup will be familiar with Paul, the German "psychic octopus" who uncannily and correctly predicted all the results of matches in the competition involving Germany.

One far-sighted college principal has not been slow to seize on Paul's potential. "I wonder if there might not be a role for Paul to be employed as a consultant by Scotland's Colleges," writes Ian Graham of Glasgow's John Wheatley College.

"Such an animal could help us by completing financial forecast returns, anticipating changes in student support policies and preparing us for completing European Social Fund applications".

Graham continues: "Given that the principals' CPD programme has failed to prepare us with the necessary skills to `see' the future, is it possible that the Scottish Funding Council might consider funding Paul from its strategic funds?"

Alas, the man from JW will not be around for much longer to lobby for his innovative proposal, since he is retiring. That's not a prediction from Paul - Graham told us himself.

Och aye

It is not often Education Secretary Michael Russell is a man of few words. Asked in Parliament by the SNP's Linda Fabiani whether the Government would boost the Scots language in the new curriculum, he replied: "Aye, we will."

Mull of the fryer

Alas, it's the summer holidays and the denizens of Tobermory are being denied one of the town's great sights, the lunchtime arrival of the high- school sophisticates on the main drag (immortalised in the BBC's Balamory). Some are clad in the school's uniform hoodie, which carries its name across the back, like prisoner clothing.

Most head for the pier-head chippy, where rolls and gravy seem popular. But healthy-eating champions need not worry: the chippy is itself hungry for success and is an award-winning outlet of the art of the fryer.

Acronym-itis

Readers will doubtless be jealous of the excitement we feel when we fall upon the submissions to the teacher education review. But some things just jump out from the pages. One section is liberally sprinkled with the following: CPD, STNE, IP, SITE (does it hit the fan?), ITE, OECD, TLCs, PLCs and LAs.

Appropriately, the passage is headed "areas for improvement".

Roll on

A sixth-year girl turned up at a Glasgow secondary to sit Higher psychology the other week, with her head full of hair rollers - a sight that hasn't been seen for some decades in schools. She explained to her teacher: "Big hair and curls are back this year and it's the school prom tonight, so I put my rollers in." Setting in class never looked so appealing.

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