How can you guarantee your school appears in the Daily Mail? Easy. Just drop the newspaper a line about one of the bizarre bans your headteacher has introduced.
Teachers have been competing on the TES staffroom to come up with the best examples.
"We have banned swimming goggles in case someone sucks their eye out when they take them off," one said. Other strange rules include bans on hats, hair clips in colours other than uniform blue, and playtime on days when it is "too windy".
In a separate area of the site, teachers have been revealing the name their schools use for the room where they send naughty pupils. Room 101, the inclusion room and the Dark Side are all contenders, but the best has to be "the Every Child Matters room".