Ma'am, 'tis time to progress

1st June 2012 at 01:00

Your Majesty, I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate you on your Diamond Jubilee. Over the past 60 years you have excelled in leading the nation. You have represented your people, provided solace to those in need and been unerring in opening Parliament, hospitals and schools with the perfect blend of pomp and humility.

However, I would like to draw your attention to the fact that your government expects a minimum of two sub-levels of progress per annum and has a stated aim of creating an "aspiration nation". According to our records, you have remained in the same role for 60 years and my team and I have identified you as a non-mover or "coasting monarch" on the grounds that we would have expected a minimum of 120 sub-levels of progress in this time. We think that expanding your rule by two sub-levels (countries) per year is entirely possible.

We believe that even the most gifted and talented should not have to rest on their laurels and stagnate. Our innovative approach to career development will offer you the opportunity to be the monarch you could be. My team and I look forward to hearing from you.

Loic Menzies, Director, LKMco.

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