From our "what is the world coming to?" correspondent: It appears you no longer have to be elected to have the initials MP after your name. At a life skills conference a principal teacher of modern studies from East Renfrewshire racked his brains as a certain Watt Nicoll MP, taught the pupils to juggle, sing and do things they never thought they could. The teacher remarked on the workload facing MPs after the recess but was greeted with a blank stare. He then asked which constituency Nicoll represented.
Nicoll described himself politely as a "motivational person".