On the naughty step - Conduct that deserves a ticking off
This week: biting
Very few repeat offenders have been consigned to the naughty step. That dubious honour has been confined to the likes of Michael Gove, Toby Young and, erm, Justin Bieber. It's not often that you'll find those three names lumped together.
But this week, with a sense of heavy-hearted inevitability, we turn our attention again to Liverpool striker Luis Suarez. Just a few months ago, he received a TES rollicking for a blatant handball as we fretted about his influence as a role model for children.
But how we jumped the gun! On Sunday, Mr S appeared to get peckish mid-match and bit Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic on the arm, prompting more howls of anguish about amoral millionaire footballers.
There have already been reports of a child telling a classmate he was going to "do a Suarez" before sinking his teeth in them, resulting in a suspension. How are PE teachers supposed to cope?
But we are going to resist the temptation to banish Luis again: we feel sure that someone with such obvious behavioural problems will provide us with another opportunity soon enough. Instead it's biting that we're sending off to the naughty step - unless it's being done to make your way through a delicious school lunch.