a The condom-phobic Pope
b The yacht-owning classes
c A German punk band
d Africa's biggest pop stars
2 What did airport immigration officials find being smuggled into Australia under a female traveller's skirt?
a 16lb of cocaine
b A year's supply of Marmite
c 51 live tropical fish
d The Ashes
3 Former council house sold for pound;680,000! Does it make you: a Cheer?
d Feel you'll never get a foot on the property ladder?
4 Why are supermarket warehouse workers being tagged?
a To prevent heart problems
b Improve efficiency
c Trial run for ID cards
d Trial run for motorway pricing
5 Why was the policeman doing 112mph?
a He was chasing bank raiders
b Pregnant wife gone into labour
c Girlfriend wanted to get home
d To go and watch Big Brother
Answers under the crossword
ANSWERS: 1d, 2c, 3d, 4b, 5c