Not on my shift
Heidies are not meant to be answering phones, apparently having more important things to do. There's relief all round at neighbouring secondaries in East Dunbartonhire that their back-up staff are not members of the striking union. Turnbull High in Bishopbriggs is one such example that springs to mind.
Parents there must be thankful their children are not affected by the wages dispute, including, no doubt, the school board chairman, Joe di Paolo.
In real life, di Paolo doubles as Unison's Scottish organiser for local government.