Overheard in the staffroom
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CURRICULUM FOR BABIES
Existentialtyke: Bloody crazy! This government really does want to interfere from cradle to grave!
Inky: If you're going to have nurseries, make them mimic good parenting.
Don't start burdening littlies with NC expectations.
jacob: More Ofbollox! Do they get points for potty training? Will they be graded on smell, consistency and colour of nappy deposits? God help the poor little buggers!
Wilma: I'm just wondering when parents who don't send their children to nursery will be Ofsteded to see if they are following the new curriculum!
How to quieten them down
Cymbeline: I'm on a PGCE and my dept have said they would like me to employ some strategy to get the pupils to listen to me. Please help!
Bombaysapphire: I put my hand up and call five, four, then silently count down on my fingers. It is generally effective.
teachur: Here's one I've used in secondary school: "BREASTS!!!.... right, now I have your attention..."
Worst mistakes a PGCE student can make
deicide: Taking somebody's cup or seat in the staffroom.
leviosa: Hogging the only computer in the staffroom!
John Peak: Getting on the wrong side of the technicians.
Mfd1: Always check you are using a board pen that wipes off.
Beldo: If you're going to bitch about the school with fellow PGCE placement types, do so where no staff can hear you.
Flowerfaerie: Take in your own cup, tea, coffee etc, or offer to pay towards the "Tea Club".
Noofie: Don't park your car in the head's parking space!
How to make it through till Christmas
Cheekyget: Don't over-work yourself as this is the longest term.
E.M: Have at least one work-free evening every week.
Whizbit: Get involved with the Christmas activities in school. This year we'll be having karaoke in the classroom.
Kirstystar: I had a bet with my colleague on who would get the most xmas cards from the kids.
friendlyface: Snuggle up under the duvet!
These comments are the personal opinions of individual contributors