Paying attention this year?

23rd December 2005 at 00:00
1 David Blunkett lost hissecond ministerial post in 12 months. What does his dog say?

a I could see it coming

b I am his best friend

c I am his only friend

d I don't know which way to turn

2 A reindeer called Rudolf, owned by a part-time Danish Santa, died of a heart attack when Danish Air Force jets flew low over his farm. To what deep questions does this give rise?

a Does the Danish Air Force know which way to turn?

b Are there part-time Danish elves?

c Has that blown it for the nose?

d What is the Danish Air Force for, anyway?

3 Cardinal Ratzinger became Pope Benedict XVI. What was his first act?

a To make the previous pope a saint

b To make Rudolf a saint

c To make Torquemada a saint

d To excommunicate the Danish Air Force. Both of them

4 Civilisation as we know it is being threatened by some sick poultry. What should we be looking out for?

a Chickens with runny noses

b Pigeons that aren't hungry

c Feathers on the pharmacy floor

d Parrots saying 'Polly wants a doctor'

5 Whales in the North Sea are being led astray by anomalies in the Earth's magnetic field. Who else has been led astray?

a Camilla Parker Bowles

b The Danish Air Force

c David Blunkett

d Saint Rudolf

6 We won the ashes test series. Does this mark England's resurgence as a sporting nation?

a Yes

b No

c Maybe

d None of the above

7 The population has topped 60m. Who is to blame?

a David Blunkett

b The pope

c Not the pope

d The England cricket team

8 Labour won the general election. What else was won?

a Camilla Parker Bowles

b The ashes

c The 'most ministerial posts lost in a year' award

d The trophy for most reindeer killed by a Danish fighter jet

9 Andy Murray became our new tennis hero. Will he go on to win Wimbledon?

a Aye

b No

c Maybe

d Two of the above

10 Pubs can now be open for 24 hours. What will happen next?

a The end of civilisation as we know it

b Nothing much

c The population will drop below 60m

d Town centres will be terrorised by rampaging drunken part-time Danish elves

ANSWERS: 1a, 2d, 3a, 4c, 5b, 6c, 7a, 8b, 9c, 10d

ANSWERS: 1a, 2d, 3a, 4c, 5b, 6c, 7a, 8b, 9c, 10d

Subscribe to get access to the content on this page.

If you are already a Tes/ Tes Scotland subscriber please log in with your username or email address to get full access to our back issues, CPD library and membership plus page.

Not a subscriber? Find out more about our subscription offers.
Subscribe now
Existing subscriber?
Enter subscription number

Comments

The guide by your side – ensuring you are always up to date with the latest in education.

Get Tes magazine online and delivered to your door. Stay up to date with the latest research, teacher innovation and insight, plus classroom tips and techniques with a Tes magazine subscription.
With a Tes magazine subscription you get exclusive access to our CPD library. Including our New Teachers’ special for NQTS, Ed Tech, How to Get a Job, Trip Planner, Ed Biz Special and all Tes back issues.

Subscribe now