A tale courtesy of (ie lifted from) the Scottish Parent Teacher Council's Backchat bulletin. It tells of American first-graders making the transition from kindergarten and being warned to eschew baby talk in favour of "big words".
Young Eddie was up to speed. Asked what he had done, he replied: "I read a book."
"That's wonderful," said the teacher. "What book did you read?"
"Winnie the Shit".