17th October 2003 at 01:00
1 Which drug do scientists think improves male fertility?

a Marijuana - makes the sperm more relaxed

b Coffee - makes it swim faster

c Beer - the sperm start a scrap over the egg

2. Where will publishing arty pictures of naked boys get you?

a Banned from teaching

b On the sex offenders' register

c A fawning interview on Start the Week

3 Why will Arnold Schwarzenegger never be President?

a Bush is a better actor

b Only US-born citizens can run

c Any candidate who gropes women is unelectable

4 What happens to beggars in Lambeth?

a They get arrested

b They get 50p from every fifth passer-by

c They send their kids to private school

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