1 How did Zowie Smith upset kids at West Park primary?
a She gave them Chinese burns
b She nicked their dinner money
c Her big brother beat them up
2 Classroom observation: who disrupted Nina Panaysis's lesson?
a That troublesome Blair boy
b A lost Ofsted team
c Bungie, the escaped school donkey
3 How much will a lost passport cost?
a pound;42 replacement fee
b pound;500 on the black market
c Two years' inside (refugees only)
4 What was Paul Burrell's (unmet) price for spiking his story?
a A king's ransom
b A clear conscience
c A cup of tea at Highgrove