21st May 2004 at 01:00
1 What did John Prescott eat when he met Gordon Brown to stitch up the Labour leadership (allegedly)?

a Oysters

b Kippers

c Pies

2 "Shi-di-ri-di-duy, shi-di-ri-di-da-na" is Ukrainian for what?

a Ha ha, nul points, skinny British loser

b I am the Queen of Eurovision

c Shi-di-ri-di-duy, shi-di-ri-di-da-na

3 Charlie Clarke's new crackdown on pupil misbehaviour is:

a An admission of defeat in the standards agenda

b An important move against anti-social behaviour

c Shameless electioneering

4 "Apple" is:

a Next year's most popular girl's name

b Child abuse

c But not as bad as Fifi Trixebelle

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