1 What did John Prescott eat when he met Gordon Brown to stitch up the Labour leadership (allegedly)?
2 "Shi-di-ri-di-duy, shi-di-ri-di-da-na" is Ukrainian for what?
a Ha ha, nul points, skinny British loser
b I am the Queen of Eurovision
c Shi-di-ri-di-duy, shi-di-ri-di-da-na
3 Charlie Clarke's new crackdown on pupil misbehaviour is:
a An admission of defeat in the standards agenda
b An important move against anti-social behaviour
c Shameless electioneering
4 "Apple" is:
a Next year's most popular girl's name
b Child abuse
c But not as bad as Fifi Trixebelle