Read this excerpt from Simon's application for a job teaching citizenship

15th April 2005 at 01:00
Sara Bubb's comments are in red. Do you agree with what she says?

Dear Sir

Do you know it's a man? Better to address the headteacher by name, spelling it correctly.

I would like to apply for the position of... I presently teach this subject discreetly

Discretion is always a bonus but I think you mean discretely. Such a howler will send your application to the bin after pursuing

Undertaking? Be careful with your choice of words a PGCE in citizenship.

I am excited about the potential for demonstrating my experience, energy and commitment in the development of citizenship as a new and energizing Spelling - energising subject in an environment that will offer a professional challenge and sense of personal reward.

Wow, lots of assertion here - are you really like this or have you just lifted a string of great sounding superlatives from somewhere?

I feel that the potential for citizenship is enormous as it offers an opportunity for pupils to engage in a relevant and motivational curriculum, which I could make accessible and meaningful to a diversity

Ugh, try range of pupils. Remove could - you do!

I presently teach citizenship at key stages 3, 4 and 5.

Please tell me more.

The nature of citizenship allows the incorporation of controversial issues and debates that consequently I have been able to capture the imagination and interest of the diverse audience in a classroom.

Grammar.

I am imaginative and creative and have the ability to devise materials and resources differentiated for different abilities to encourage and enthuse pupils. I am aware of budget restrictions and I am inventive and resourceful.

What a paragon. I might believe it if you gave examples of these desirable characteristics.

My present head of department is an advanced skills teacher. He has mentored and focused my professional development within an established and successful department.

This is interesting! Mention it earlier and give me more informationexamples.

I am wiling spellcheck to contribute to activities beyond classroom constraints of time or location as these are integral to citizenship and offer pupils' No apostrophe needed a greater appreciation of teamwork, planning and reflection. I have been involved in supporting GCSE support groups and other schemes running throughout the school.

So good to see an example at last.

I have a passion for teaching and a desire to contribute to leaning Or learning, perhaps and believe I can be an asset to your school community.

Not with grammar and spelling like this, Sunshine!

I look forward to exploring some of my ideas in person.

Overall: Sorry Simon, this is not good. John Rees, a retired secondary head, agrees. He described it as: "Boring, long-winded and lacking in the Velcro barbs which hook the interviewer. I would have binned it before the end of the first paragraph."

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