15th March 1996 at 00:00
Porty Blethers is in the mould of Fair Scunnert, a magazine noted by Jotter, and devoted to writing in Scots by pupils of St Joseph's College in Dumfries. Denizens of Edinburgh and traditionalist holidaymakers from Glasgow will recognise that Porty is sun-kissed and sandy Portobello. The "blethers" are from the high school, or "hie schule" as it calls itself for the occasion.

The editor of issue number six is candid: "'Porty Blethers' can whiles seem to be juist cauld kale het again wi bairnsangs, wee laddies gettin chased bi jannies, dugs wi lugs an mooses in hooses. We hae aw that but the feck o the scrievin is a lang wey awa frae the kailyard.

"We hae 24 stories, maistly on modern subjecks. It wuid hae been 25 but Oliver Schulte's fitba story efter the style o Irvine Welsh juist cuidnae hae been prentit in a schule magazine."

There are gritty football stories which do get past the censors. A trio of S2 pupils combined to tell a David and Goliath tale: "The wee lad's awa ti play fitba wi his clarty auld buits an a ba wi a hole in it. He gaes doun the park wi his pal Wully to hae a wee kick-aboot, then doun come the big laddies ti hae their game and shove the wee lads ti the side an get the best pitch.

"The wee lads get that beelin they kick the big lads ba awa. The big lads kick them aboot the hurdies an the wee lads bolt awa." In real-life Porty David does not win.

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