Year 1 boy to the class: "My mum is going to have a new baby (pause)... My dad surprised her with a tadpole."
KATHRYN EVANS, HUDDERSFIELD
Mum was going to learn a foreign language at evening class. Lucy, 7, appeared delighted. "When you tell me to go to bed in French, I won't be able to understand you."
MICHAEL SMITH, DERBY