Soundbites

15th October 1999 at 01:00
Teaching assistant to new intake four-year-old: "Come on James, it's time to practise writing your name."

Blank look. "Would you preferred to be called Jimmy?"

A blanker look. "Talk to me and tell me which you like best, James or Jimmy."

"Well, I'd like to be called Jimmy best of all, but really my name's Ryan."

LINDA HODGSON

A Year 8 English lesson on persuasive language focused on convincing excuses. Martyn told of his infallible method to convince his Mum he was too ill to go to school. It involved a toilet bowl, frozen peas, a tin of minestrone soup and orange juice. There was a moment of silence. Then a voice from the back was heard: "Ugh, that's sick."

EILEEN LUMBER

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