* Our Year 4 children were encouraged to bring their cuddly toys on a residential visit to an environmental centre. On the way, some suitcases fell off the minibus roof rack. That night, Jane wrote to her parents: "On the way here, my suitcase got run over by a lorry. Don't worry. Our teacher says he knows a man who can get rid of tyre marks from teddies' tummies."
* Mark, a boy in my mixed-age KS2 class, told me that Bradley had kicked him. I went off to nvestigate.
"Bradley, did you kick Mark?" "No, Miss." "Are you telling me the truth, Bradley?" "Yes, Miss," came the reply. "I missed."
* Our Year 6 teacher was preparing her class for a test. All the children were working hard - with one exception. The teacher asked the boy why he hadn't done any work. "Well," came the reply. "You said that we weren't to use calculators for these, and this question says 'calculate'."