* An elderly primary teacher friend of mine was caught applying face cream by one of her pupils. She explained that she was making "all my wrinkles disappear". "Oh yes," said the child n wonderment. "They've all gone into your neck."
* I teach spelling to children with special needs. We had been learning the spellings for days of the week and all the children were given a test.
Ricky spelled everything correctly. "But what do days of the week begin with?" I asked him. There was a short pause before his face lit up. "Mornings, Miss."