22nd September 2000 at 01:00
* The dyslexic Year 10 pupil I support had become very enthused about his essay on Romeo and Juliet. When I sat down to look through it, I saw it began: "The Montagues and Capulets were sworn enemas."


* An elderly primary teacher friend of mine was caught applying face cream by one of her pupils. She explained that she was making "all my wrinkles disappear". "Oh yes," said the child n wonderment. "They've all gone into your neck."


* I teach spelling to children with special needs. We had been learning the spellings for days of the week and all the children were given a test.

Ricky spelled everything correctly. "But what do days of the week begin with?" I asked him. There was a short pause before his face lit up. "Mornings, Miss."


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