* A visiting theatre company was presenting Puss in Boots. Towards the end, Puss turned to the audience and announced that he was off to meet the Queen.
"Have any of you ever met a member of the royal family?"asked Puss. The hand of a Year 2 child shot up. "I've met the postman from the Royal Mail," said Jennifer proudly.
* I threatened to confiscate a Year 6 boy's drink from his packed lunch in a bid to get him to stop fiddling with it and focus on his wrk (and get it done before the bell). "But I really need it, Sir," he pleaded. "Look at the packet, it's concentrated orange."
* Studying Andrew Marvell's "To His Coy Mistress" with my Year 11 class prompted a discussion of modern sexual mores. "Girls asking boys out is a very recent phenomenonI it didn't happen in the Seventies," I said, recalling my glory days. "Perhaps that was just you, Sir," suggested a girl in the front row.