"What day of the week is your birthday on this year, Bethan?"
"Oh that's easy. It's on a Sunday. I remember because it's the day before the Offhead inspection."
* Four-year-old Stephen after a visit to a wildlife park:
"Some junkies mumped on our car."
* During a maths lesson on measures:
"How man millilitres in a litre?" "A thousand." "Good."
"How many metres in a kilometre?" "A thousand." "Good."
"How many grammes in a kilogramme?" "A thousand." "Good."
"Sir. Are there a thousand whales in a killer whale?"
We pay pound;30 for each Soundbite published. Send yours to Jill Craven, The TES, 66-68 East Smithfield, London E1W 1BX. Or email her at: email@example.com