An educational welfare officer was making a home visit to speak to the parents of a non-attender. A girl of about 10 answered the door. She told the EWO that neither of her parents was in.
"Is there anyone I can speak to?" "Well, there's my brother."
"Yes, he'll do," said a relieved EWO.
"Shall I go and fetch him?" asked the girl.
"That would be helpful."The girl went inside, emerging minutes later looking flustered.
"Sorry, you can't speak to him. I can't get him out of his pram."
In a Year 9 history lesson I attempted to bring the class together by recapping the meanings of "BC" and "AD". Almost everyone's hand went up.
"BC is 'Before Christ' Sir."
"Good. And AD?" "It must be 'After his Dad' Sir."