Staffroom Stereotypes - Which type are you?

6th December 2013 at 00:00

Professional development is a journey of self-discovery. To help you along the way, TESS is offering an ever so slightly tongue-in-cheek series of questions that will uncover who you really are. Supportive colleague or anxious newbie? Passionate part-timer or management material? Log on to www.tesconnect.comquiz to find out the truth.

But before you bare your soul, do you recognise this titan of track and field?

Dai Llaffin

He could have been a contender; he could have been somebody. And if it wasn't for that recurring calf injury during his second season playing in the 1st XV at the Merthyr Meatheads Rugby Club, Dai wouldn't have missed out on that elusive cap for Wales.

As it is, he has to settle for second-in-command in the physical education department. Such lofty positions have their advantages, of course. Few colleagues have the power to send more junior staff members off to the sports track with 145 wheezing children while remaining cosily inside to scour eBay for sports sunglasses on the departmental iPad. Fewer still can call their charges by their surnames and suddenly whisk a roughly hewn "team" to the outer edges of the county with 20 minutes' notice and not a single indemnity form in sight.

Once abroad, Dai can succumb to touchline rage, comfortable in the knowledge that his frequently inventive profanities will be buried by the What Goes on Tour Stays on Tour maxim.

But there is a gentler side to our Dai. Catching the slightest whiff of injury - whether at track, field or during appraisal review meetings - boyo will lope off to the scene of the accident, first-aid kit slung over his shoulder, and barge through the bloodthirsty gawpers who are competing to upload pictures to Snapchat. In no time, he has the victim's straightened leg over his shoulder and is pushing it back into impossible positions.

His position in the staffroom is unchallengeable. Just as Ralph Nearly-Retired is experiencing the quiet moment of epiphany that is nine across, Dai robs him of the word by kicking open the door and launching into a "hilarious" rerun of the entire script of the final episode of Gavin and Stacey, delivered at the decibel level of a small private jet.

There's bloody lovely, innit?

Subscribe to get access to the content on this page.

If you are already a Tes/ Tes Scotland subscriber please log in with your username or email address to get full access to our back issues, CPD library and membership plus page.

Not a subscriber? Find out more about our subscription offers.
Subscribe now
Existing subscriber?
Enter subscription number


The guide by your side – ensuring you are always up to date with the latest in education.

Get Tes magazine online and delivered to your door. Stay up to date with the latest research, teacher innovation and insight, plus classroom tips and techniques with a Tes magazine subscription.
With a Tes magazine subscription you get exclusive access to our CPD library. Including our New Teachers’ special for NQTS, Ed Tech, How to Get a Job, Trip Planner, Ed Biz Special and all Tes back issues.

Subscribe now