Monday Val, it's Trina. Just to let you know that I am on my way. P J has come to stay for the week and I have to take him to the college. There's a school bus he can catch but we don't know where from.
Shouldn't be late, but won't be my usual time. OK?
Tuesday Val, it's Trina. You won't believe this but a tractor has broken down in my lane. I've been stuck here for 15 minutes and nothing's happened. I'll phone back if I'm going to be late.
Wednesday Val, can you ask Jackie to register my class? I shouldn't be long but Owen has kept me awake all night and I'll have to stop at the chemist for some cough medicine before I drop him at the childminder. By the way, what do you do if the temperature warning light keeps coming on? Turn on the heater so the engine gets cooler? OK.
Val, it's Trina again. Look, I'm getting ever so hot in here but the light's gone off. What shall I do? No, I can't open the window, the catch is broken. Not to worry, I'm nearly there now.
Thursday Val, it's Trina. Listen, thee's been a landslip in the Saltash tunnel. I'm going to try to go round the other way but it looks as if I might be late. Beth will be stuck too. I'll see you soon. Oh, and by the way, that red light has come on again.
Friday Listen, Val, it's Trina. I'm on my way to school but I'm in Paul's Range Rover because my car just won't start. P J has missed the school bus so I'll have to take him to the college. I won't be late, but I thought I ought to let you know. I was going to chase the bus but P J says it goes round by Looe so there's no point. OK? See you later.
It's me again. I'm in Mutley and you'll never believe what's happened. I've just dropped P J off and the bus was in front of me so I had to back up a bit and of course I'm in the Range Rover and I can't see behind me and I've reversed into this really posh woman's car. I'm just exchanging names and addresses so I shouldn't be too long. Well, I should be there for registration.
Val Woollven is head of St Andrew's C of E primary, Plymouth