Monday I observe a literacy lesson in Year 6. It is magnificent. All 32 pupils are focused and working towards the targets. I talk to them about their aspirations. Well, like, I'm in line for level 5s across the board, like. I'm best at explanatory texts, like mental maths and science, right.
Oh good. That's, like, reassuring.
Tuesday The Year 6 class has been to the Marine Biology Centre to discuss food chains. The manager phones to say what a well-behaved, well-motivated, superb class they are. All I can say is, like, I'm really proud of them, right, and, like, I'll be telling them so in assembly.
Wednesday I've decided that they'll be motivated for SATs if they go on an adventure holiday two days before the tests start. They will be so invigorated that they will approach them with renewed energy, right? They'll be, like, up for it. Cool.
Thursday Business in the Community are visiting as we are involved in the Reading Volunteers scheme. The Year 6 Redcaps, those chosen for their courtesy and pride in the school, talk to the visitors and serve tea at playtime. They, like, tell all the people in suits that, like, this is a brilliant school and, like, they're working hard to do their best. They proceed to impress during a spelling challenge with, like, their accurate spelling of photosynthesis and fertilisation.
Friday We've had some trouble in the boys' toilets but Year 6 are on the case. They write down the names of the boys who have been messing about. At 1.30pm Mark comes to tell me that he's sorted it, right. The culprit's brother has snitched. It was our prime suspect from Year 3. It seems that he did pull the plugs off the sinks. And he's sorry, right. So am I, but with a Year 6 like this, like, I can go home happily, job sussed. Right?
Val Woollven is head of St Andrew's C of E school, Plymouth