Thank God it's Friday

11th November 2005 at 00:00
Monday New uniform, record GCSE results, whole school attendance in the mid-nineties, happy days ahead. The decision to ban the wearing of wristbands was not a difficult one. With the local car boot, eBay and Tom in Year 10 now selling the various bands, it was probably time to pause with this latest must-have fashion accessory rip-off and lesson distractor.

We've raised pound;800 for Asian Tsunami and pound;250 for Live Strong in the last year but, until our next charity push, wristbands have had their day.

tuesday Assemblies informing the students of the educational reasons and concerns behind my decision are met with minor muttering. Jodie in Year 8 feels her eight bands are for a good cause, and do not hinder her work, especially if she puts them on her non-writing hand. David, deputy headteacher and Old Trafford season ticket holder, strongly objects to removing his Man Utd Kings of Europe band.

wednesday Dan from the local paper rings. Jodie's mother has informed him of my draconian decision "to remove children's right to support charity"

and would I like to comment? I reiterate my reasons and my feeling that this is not a serious story in comparison to 700 job losses locally at Kays.

thursday The front-page headline "Headteacher bans wristbands" is accompanied by a picture of Jodie's right arm with nine wristbands. School day ends with a courtesy call from Central Television who are interviewing Jodie and selected parents at the gates. "No comment" does not fully convey my thoughts. Arrive home to find my mug shot smiling from the front page of the newspaper - in the cat's litter tray.

friday Metro newspaper in London has Jodie's arm and headline "Worcester headteacher bans distracting bands". Start lesson with Jodie's class by examining distortion in the media, culminating in a philosophical debate, "Is the British press too powerful?" Attend Worcester Heads Association meeting - each try to outdo Jodie's arm and have agendas backed by her photograph. Phone call from Dan. Any comment on the cricketer Kevin Pietersen's hairstyle - do I think it will catch on? Apparently I am a uniform fashion guru!

Neil Morris is head of Christopher Whitehead language college, Worcester.

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