There's a deid man on the wall
One of the P1s was restless so the heidie kept him at her side. After many quips, he yelled as he pointed to the crucifix: "He's deid, in't he?"
On returning to the school, the head was recounting events when the P4 teacher told her about a conversation between two of her boys.
Boy 1: "What does INRI mean at the top of that crucifix?"
Boy 2: "It means 'I'm Nailed Right In'."
North Lanarkshire's literacy strategy is clearly working.
(PS: As every schoolboy knows, INRI is "In Nomine Rex Iudaeorum" - "By Name King of the Jews".) Here endeth the first lesson