True confessions

8th April 2005 at 01:00
I don't want want to become the kind of teacher who... forgets why I joined the profession in the first place.

It made my day when... the pupils thought I was an experienced teacher when in fact I was a PGCE student on a placement.

Senior managers don't know it, but... teachers bribed the pupils' football team to go easy on them during the recent charity staffstudents match. The result was a very respectable 4-4.

I couldn't keep a straight face when... the head said he was surprised when the staff didn't comfortably win the aforementioned match. He seems to think that experience is more favourable than youth. The fact he was our coach didn't help.

I'm not looking forward to... the rugby charity match. There must be a better way for a probationer to gain a glowing reference.

I'd never live it down if... the pupils found out I was once on Cilla Black's Blind Date. And no, I didn't get picked. Contestant number three found his 15-minutes that Saturday night in 1989.

I'd really like to tell the headteacher... that his nickname is "Ozzy" - more a physical resemblance than any rock 'n' roll tendencies.

I honestly believe that... there are far too many initiatives and "flagship policies" clouding what should be clear objectives for teachers. It seems that every academic, politician and senior civil servant gets a say on how schools should be run, but they rarely consider the views of teachers.

At the beginning of the week I look forward to... Friday's Happy Hour in our local. Come on, we deserve it.

My friends believe... I won't last more than five years as a teacher having had a managerial position in the "real world". I may ask them to put their money where their mouths are.

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