WANTED: posh, spectacle-wearing primary teacher, who is low on muscles and prepared to give up country life to become a bouncer in a tough, south London club.
It may sound like a double-bill from the playwright John Godber. But, in fact, it's the brief for a Channel 4 documentry, based "loosely" on Pygmalion, the George Bernard Shaw play about transforming a working-class Cockney girl into a society deb.
"The man we are looking for is aged between 25-35. He probably considers himself to be a middleclass liberal. Ideally he is from a picturesque village and has never lived anywhere else," say the TV producers. "He must be bold and outgoing, butnot the brash, beer-drinking, fighting type. He might be a primary teacher, church-goer or member of the local am-dram."
The suitable candidate will be given an appropriate haircut,
boxing lessons and training in "estuary" English. He will don sovereign rings, live in a London gaff and may even get a tattoo.
"They'll learn to walk the walk and talk the talk. Their big test will be working the door of a "sarf" London nightclub. We won't put them in any danger, obviously," says Sarah, the assistant producer of RDF TV.
The only snag: filming starts on May 15 for four to five weeks. Anyone interested should ring 020 7313 6705.