Were you paying attention?

16th September 2005 at 01:00
1 Ken Clarke is up for the Tory leadership. What do we know about him: a He wears Hush Puppies?

b He rode roughshod over the health service?

c He rode roughshod over puppies?

2 Two reports say there are 70,000 truants every day, and it takes 82 minutes for a policeman to catch one. What does this mean: a 70,000 policemen would take 82 minutes to round up all truants?

b It would take 82 policemen one minute to catch one truant?

c An average truant spends 81 minutes avoiding policemen?

d Police should wear Hush Puppies so truants cannot hear them coming?

3 Another report says young children spend too much time reading and writing and not enough time playing. What does this imply: a Cops and Robbers aren't what they used to be?

b In 20 years time cops won't be able to catch truants never mind robbers?

c Truancy among the under fives will hit record levels?

d Eight-year-olds will be able to read and write?

4 England lost to Northern Ireland in a World Cup qualifier last week.

Why?

a They would rather learn to read and write than play football?

b God is an Irishman?

c Sven-Goran Eriksson is an Irishman?

d They should have used the 4-3-3 formation?

5 The Government is threatening to close failing schools after a year if they don't improve. To whom else should this be applied?

a Secretaries of State for Education?

b The England football team?

c The Conservative party?

d Puppies?

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