1 A government watchdog is urging a crackdown on pupils plagiarising the web. What do the pupils say?
a I have never copied anything
b I have never copied anything
c I have never copied anything
d It wasn't me, it was my dad
2 Americans are being attacked by wild turkeys. What will happen next?
a Wild turkeys will be attacked by Americans
b Turkey will be attacked by wild Americans
c George Bush will find something about turkeys in Revelations
d George Bush will declare Thanksgiving to be a day of national revenge
3 Alcoholic mayhem has been predicted following the arrival of 24-hour licensing. What do teachers say?
a Better make this the last one, I've got assembly in ten minutes
b Better make this the last one, I've just seen a wild turkey attacking George Bush
c There just aren't enough hours in the day
d You're my very besht pupil in all the world
4 Rupert Murdoch claims he deserves more respect. What do journalists say?
a Help, I'm being attacked by a wild Rupert
b Yes Sir, how much?
c British journalism will never be the same again
d Same again, please
5 Jeffrey Archer wants to rejoin the Conservatives. What do decent law-abiding citizens say?
a I think he deserves more respect
b I think he deserves the whip
c I think he should be attacked by drunken wild Conservatives
d I'll have a large Archers with ice, please
ANSWERS: 1d, 2b, 3a, 4d, 5c
QUIZANSWERS: 1d, 2b, 3a, 4d, 5c