1 A flock of sheep is hoping for a Christmas number one hit. What is their favourite carol?
a Sheep may safely graze
b While shepherds watched
c Away in a manger
d They don't have one. They're sheep
2 The Pope has abolished Limbo. Who was in there?
a Unbaptised babies
b Dancers with grotesquely overdeveloped thighs
c Far too many ancient Greek poets
d The Liberal Democrats
3 A headteacher has banned Christmas cards to save trees. What else should be banned?
a School dinners, to save celebrity sheep
b Pupils, to save teachers
c Teachers, to save money
d The Liberal Democrats, to save time
4 Vandals have set fire to a 43ft-high festive straw goat in Sweden. Why?
a They were afraid it might sing
b To save it from drunken elks
c There isn't much else to do in Sweden
d All of the above
5 A pet hotel has opened in Tokyo. Who will stay there?
a Celebrity sheep
c Poisonous fish
d 43ft-high paranoid festive Swedish goats
QUIZ ANWERS: 1d, 2a, 3b, 4c, 5d.