1 A group of schoolchildren recently set up an arms-dealing company. What did their teachers say?
a Of course you can have an A+
b I bet their parents did most of it
c Sports day should be fun this year
d Why is the teachers' car park full of Polish tanks?
2 People are selling Blue Peter badges on eBay. Why?
a They want to get Blue Peter badges for initiative
b They need the money to buy squeezy bottles and glue
c They need the money to buy Polish tanks
d Because people are stupid enough to pay several hundred pounds for them so that they can get into Madame Tussauds for free
3 A study has found that toddlers who have been to nursery school are brighter and more aggressive. What do their teachers say?
a That is not an appropriate use for a plastic brick
b Oh my God, they're organised
c Get out of that Polish tank and drink your milk
d Maurice has just sold the reception class on eBay
4 Hundreds of primary school children are being expelled for having drugs and alcohol. What do their teachers say?
a At least they sleep in the afternoons
b It couldn't happen to us, could it?
c Confiscation is a wonderful thing
d Get out of that Polish tank and drink your gin
5 The Germans have the highest average IQ in Europe. What do the Germans say?
a Told you so
b Our superiority begins in Kindergarten
c Where can I buy a Blue Peter badge?
d Would you like to buy a Polish tank?
QUIZ ANSWERS:1a, 2d, 3c, 4d, 5b