1 Scottish schoolchildren have been told not to insult the English during the World Cup. Who should they insult?
a The Germans
b And the Welsh
c And the Irish
d Ecuador's a bit dodgy, too
2 The Government is going totarget bad teachers. Whatdo teachers say?
a How original
b I blame the kids
c I blame the Scots
d No, no, please, I can explain everything
3 Tintin has been honoured by the Dalai Lama. What will happen next?
a Superman will get the Congressional Medal
b Asterix will get the Legion d'Honneur
c Margaret Thatcher will get the Iron Cross
d Jeffrey Archer will be made a Nobel laureate
4 A study has found that dance calms unruly children. What do teachers say?
a Do that once more and you're getting100 pirouettes
b They're always relaxed after a really good sabre dance
c Oh dear, Maurice has jeted on to the shopkeeper's wife, again
d I never thought I'd end upteaching a class of 28sugar plum fairies
5 A landlady was questioned after using the Welsh flag in a pub archery competition. What should she have used?
a Scottish schoolchildren
b Bad teachers
c A dragon
QUIZ ANSWERS: 1a, 2a, 3c, 4b, 5d