Were you paying attention?

16th June 2006 at 01:00
1 Scottish schoolchildren have been told not to insult the English during the World Cup. Who should they insult?

a The Germans

b And the Welsh

c And the Irish

d Ecuador's a bit dodgy, too

2 The Government is going totarget bad teachers. Whatdo teachers say?

a How original

b I blame the kids

c I blame the Scots

d No, no, please, I can explain everything

3 Tintin has been honoured by the Dalai Lama. What will happen next?

a Superman will get the Congressional Medal

b Asterix will get the Legion d'Honneur

c Margaret Thatcher will get the Iron Cross

d Jeffrey Archer will be made a Nobel laureate

4 A study has found that dance calms unruly children. What do teachers say?

a Do that once more and you're getting100 pirouettes

b They're always relaxed after a really good sabre dance

c Oh dear, Maurice has jeted on to the shopkeeper's wife, again

d I never thought I'd end upteaching a class of 28sugar plum fairies

5 A landlady was questioned after using the Welsh flag in a pub archery competition. What should she have used?

a Scottish schoolchildren

b Bad teachers

c A dragon

d Maurice

QUIZ ANSWERS: 1a, 2a, 3c, 4b, 5d

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