This is what it's all about, Alfie

24th November 2000 at 00:00
"IF you had your hands full with a baby in one and the telephone in the other, and a sense of warm water running down your trouser leg, what would you do?"

asked the principal of Weston College as he addressed a meeting of his governors.

Having also to apologise for bringing his college into disrepute by using "inappropriate" language - "pee" and "piddle" in a radio broadcast - Gary Williams wasn't having the best day of his life.

He had agreed to look after Alfie (Automated Life Form in Education), the virtual baby the college uses on a course which gives students an insight into the on-stop care an infant needs.

With Alfie programmed on a "cranky" setting, ensuring maximum crying, Mr Williams struggled through his day, pushing the pram to an open evening, grasping his briefcase, and trying to look composed.

There were suspicious looks when pedestrians saw him bouncing the screaming baby on his lap when parked outside his home. But he said: "I would have been grateful for a police officer to have called during the night. Maybe they would have known how to shut up a screaming baby at 3.40am!"

His endurance paid off - he raised more than pound;250 for charity.

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