In your own time - Foul mouths, fast cars and fun with fancy stationery
Between bad parenting and teachers with road rage, find some 'bliss' on the forums.
It may still be the middle of the summer holidays, but already teachers' thoughts are turning to the new term, if the talk on the TES forums is anything to go by.
More specifically: what wacky new idea will be squeezed into the curriculum this year? According to the Labour MP Frank Field, parenting skills should be at the "heart" of education. This proposal may end up being taken seriously - David Cameron has asked Mr Field to carry out a review of poverty and life chances for the new Government.
But if teachers on the online staffroom have their way, classes on parenting skills will be killed off quickly. Lilyofthefield points out that "parenting is not something you pick up in a revision guide", while Shadowman wonders if "the young girl in Tesco, screaming and effing at her kid" would have listened to lessons on childcare in school. Foramen is concerned for the school staff, fearing that some pupils might take offence to descriptions of model parenting and turn on their teachers: "Are you dissing my mum?" Perhaps it's best if we follow dinx67's advice and get them to tune in to Supernanny.
Teachers may not be convinced about lessons in parenting skills, but there is one topic guaranteed to fill them with delight: stationery. Yes, with the back-to-school sales looming, some are already excited about their classroom supplies. Deeley and likegoodwine are thrilled with their latest investments: electronic pencil sharpeners. Deeley "has seriously never been so excited". Likegoodwine, who bought one earlier, has managed to spread her delight to her easily-pleased pupils. She rewards them for hard work with a period of pencil-sharpening bliss. It's the small things that count.
For those who have been inspired to rush to the shops to invest in the aforementioned happiness kit, take care crossing the roads. Comments elsewhere on the forums are warning of lots of aggressive teachers driving around this summer, and their road rage is only getting worse.
Many described their annoyance at slow-walking pedestrians. "When people saunter across the road, I tend to speed up," writes lardylady. "That soon shifts them."
It's probably best to avoid princessdiaries, too. She describes how pedestrians tend to "rush to the pavement or behind a parked car with a look of absolute terror on their faces" when she passes.
Unsurprisingly, the pedestrians who most annoy teachers are pupils. "Teenagers and young people do seem to leap under your car as you pass by," muses PlymouthMaid. Milkandchalk takes delight in revving the engine and watching them scatter.
Perhaps it would be safer to punish jaywalking pupils when they return to school - by giving them extra homework, or making them sharpen pencils at breaktime, although not with the fun electronic sharpener, of course.
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