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Thank God it's Friday

Monday It's a busy week ahead. The school hall is being decorated during half-term and we have to choose a colour by Friday. The staffroom consensus is for "Apricot Blush". I quite like "Wellbeing" because it seems to address the Every Child Matters agenda. However, it is green, so totally unsuitable according to our special needs co-ordinator. I thought green was calming, but apparently it's cold. I thought blue was cold... Tuesday I'm booked into a conference at a hotel near home, so I don't go to work first. After a leisurely morning, I drive over the moor in the mist and arrive in time for coffee. I spend a profitable day with colleagues and then discover that I've left my car lights on. My battery is flat. Perhaps "Green Flag" is a calming colour after all.

Wednesday The hall has been set up for the annual talent show. The stage is in place and we've hired lights and sound. All the tickets have been sold and there is an air of excitement. At the very last minute the comp re, our curate, is taken ill and someone has to step in. I think "Stage Debut" may be an embarrassing shade of pink, but I seem to hold the audience's attention and the best act is a clear winner.

Thursday The hall is cleared for decorating. The stage is removed, the curtains are taken down for cleaning, the music corner is dismantled and the gym posters are peeled from the walls. The cross is carefully removed.

The room looks enormous. The chair of governors pops in and we contemplate the colour chart. She likes green, and we happily discuss the various shades until Tom the caretaker walks by and shakes his head. Not green, he says, it's a cold colour. He suggests "Lollipop Pink".

Friday At the end of the day, I'm busy with parents and a problem with a mobile phone. The builder has arrived to talk to Tom about the alarm system and the colour chart. The builder tells Tom that he may not be able to decorate the hall, after all, because he has a lot of work on. I'm told later that Tom turns a magnificent shade of puce, known in the trade as "Caretaker's Rage". The builder says he'll do his best. Tom tells him to paint the hall Apricot Blush.

Val Woollven is head of St Andrew's C of E primary, Plymouth. If you have a diary to share (no more than 450 words), write to TES Friday or email We pay for every article we publish

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