Then it's assembly and I welcome everyone before nodding towards the piano for the hymn to begin. But there's no one there - I've forgotten the pianist is still on holi-day. So I make a rare appearance at the keyboard myself.
Tuesday: Telephoning the LEA I realise that some of the stress in my life has mercifully disap-peared. I refer to Avon's switch-board, which ruined my appreciation of 'Greensleaves' whenever I waited for a connection. It could have been worse - imagine the outrage listening to Shirley Bassey singing 'Hey Big Spender'. It's a new term but despite assurances from on high that class sizes don't affect standards I was un-able to persuade anyone to have a class of 45 to reduce the workload on the reception infant staff.
Wednesday: A while ago I mentioned a pushy rep in one of my columns. Today my secretary falls about with laughter, saying that someone "can't wait to meet me". Then she introduces a lady who embarrasses me with a cutting of that column. What can I do except admit she deserves full marks for initiative, a cup of tea and my complete attention?
Thursday: I attend a meeting with the heads of other Anglican schools and it's recommended we don't put C of E on our notepaper or we might receive letters addressed to a cafe. The chair of the group is a priest and a head-teacher. No doubt his dog-collar is a ring of confidence. I wonder what tune he hears when he calls his boss and is put on hold.
Friday: While at the bank this afternoon I recall paying in a cheque from Avon County Treasurer last year in order to open an official account. The bank, however, wouldn't give me Pounds 25 against it until the cheque was cleared. I didn't know the county was that poor. I never liked Avon anyway. Even the spell check came up with Avoid.
Luke Darlington is head of St Mary's primary school, Yate, Bristol.