Dear Mr Gove,
Thank you for taking the trouble to send me a copy of the King James Bible ("What should you do with the King James Bible from Michael Gove?", 18 May). I appreciate you spending this considerable sum of money on distributing these weighty tomes across the country. In lieu of the capital monies that our school requires, I have placed this book under the corner of our main block to stop it listing any further. I see this as a highly cost-effective solution to scrapping the Building Schools for the Future programme.
If you are looking for further inspired ideas about how to spend money wisely, we are in desperate need of a series of umbrellas to place on the flat roof to stop the rain coming in - maybe you could have your face printed on them so the pupils would know who had been so generous.
Peter Elliott, Headteacher, East Bridgwater Community School, Somerset.