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There's a deid man on the wall

A PRIMARY head from North Lanarkshire reports taking her young charges to mass one Friday after the Christmas break to let the priest talk about the crib and so on.

One of the P1s was restless so the heidie kept him at her side. After many quips, he yelled as he pointed to the crucifix: "He's deid, in't he?"

On returning to the school, the head was recounting events when the P4 teacher told her about a conversation between two of her boys.

Boy 1: "What does INRI mean at the top of that crucifix?"

Boy 2: "It means 'I'm Nailed Right In'."

North Lanarkshire's literacy strategy is clearly working.

(PS: As every schoolboy knows, INRI is "In Nomine Rex Iudaeorum" - "By Name King of the Jews".) Here endeth the first lesson

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