We’ve selected 10 of the funniest comments overheard in the classroom from our archives. Have you heard anything as humorous since you’ve returned to school?

Tweet your entries to @tes with the hashtag #TESoverheard or email ed.dorrell@tesglobal.com and the best entry of the week will win a prize.

1.

Teacher: “What technique is being used in this poem?”

Student: “It’s a metaphor.”

Second student (laughing): “He said metaphor - that’s when women don’t get their periods anymore.”

2.

Student: “Bob Geldof went to Africa to shave the orphans.”

3.

Farmhand (pointing to the turkeys): “What do you think these are? Clue: you eat them at Christmas.”

Student: “Sprouts.”

4.

Six-year-old student: “Miss, are you a lesbian?”

Teacher: “I don’t think that’s an appropriate question.”

Student: “Well, you don’t eat meat, do you?”

Teacher: “You mean vegetarian.”

5.

During a discussion in a history class.

Student: “In the war, some soldiers wore bulletproof breasts.”

6.

Watching a DVD of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Student whispering to neighbor: “Does he die in the end?”

7. 

Student: “In 1845, the Irish people were dying of salvation.”

8.

Student: “What’s Obama’s surname?”

9.

A student is being reprimanded for making a toy gun.

Principal: “I was told you were pointing this at people and shouting ‘bang, bang’.”

Student (indignant): “I didn’t!”

Principal: “Are you saying your teacher is lying?”

Student: “No, I said ‘pow, pow’.”

10.

From a homework project in which students were asked to research the life and work of a famous scientist:

“Stephen Hawkins (sic) showed that space and time would start with the big band and end with black holes.”