It made my day when ... a naughty and uninterested Year 10 pupil sought me out for help with her coursework essay. Apparently, I’m easier to talk to and more helpful than her English teacher.

Management don’t know it, but ... there have been a few times when I have been unable to control my language in front of the pupils. “YOU’RE REALLY PISSING ME OFF NOW” has slipped through my lips on more than one occasion.

You should see the effect on the pupils - silence! Bliss.

I couldn’t keep a straight face when ... a Year 8 pupil in my form referred to his tackle (during a lesson on personal hygiene) as his “mummy’s little soldier”. How we laughed!

I’m not looking forward to... September. Yes, it’s a long way off - and will only be here after the glorious summer holidays. Seriously, I don’t know if I can do this all over again. Tell me that it gets easier... anybody?

I’d never live it down if ... my Year 9 pupils found out that it was me responsible for the “silent but deadly” farting last week and not poor Johnny, who shouldered the blame!

I’d really like to tell the headteacher that ... his black and white striped suit that he saves for special occasions is too big for him. And with that white silk tie, he looks like a wannabe gangster. Surely he can hear the muffled giggles when he wears it?

At the beginning of the week I look forward to ... those magical last five minutes of lesson on a Friday afternoon.

At the end of the week I look forward to ... retirement. I’m only 24 and have got about 40 years to go, but I can dream, can’t I?

My friends think that ... I must have other friends who I care more about and want to spend all my time with. Why else would I turn down offers of nights out with the girls?

pound;50 paid for your true confessions. To tell all, send an email (in the strictest confidence) to fiona.flynn@tes.co.uk