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'TWO sympathetic inspectors'... One celebrated head imagines his perfect 12 days of Christmas

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On the first day of Christmas, my government gave to me:

... ONE empathetic education secretary

... TWO sympathetic inspectors

... THREE newspapers which wrote good stories about teachers

... FOUR years without changing the curriculum

... FIVE stress balls

... SIX weeks' holiday with no work to do

... SEVEN mugs of coffee with extra caffeine added to get through each day

... EIGHT -hour days legally enforced

... NINE risk assessments completed

... TEN governors who don't leave halfway through the year

... ELEVEN applications for every teacher job

and a TWELVE per cent pay rise to make up for the last five years

Colin Harris is headteacher of Warren Park Primary School in Havant, Hampshire 

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